it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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