youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize