It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT