I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
