New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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