sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She is in my trunk
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
