Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
