I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
