I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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