It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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