Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
