I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
