I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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