I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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