did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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