I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
