Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
