how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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