I'm gonna have a badass scar
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
