Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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