Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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