Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize