Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
