We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
