this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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