you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize