And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
