you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
