You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?