i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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