So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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