The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.