Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
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Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.