We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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