I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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