...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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