Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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