My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize