yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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