So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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