he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
