are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
