I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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