He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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