am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
