now i know why i became what i already was.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
