So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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