And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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