What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
