I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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