just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was born a porn star she said
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
