How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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