whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize