She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize