he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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