Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.