I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
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didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.