so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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