Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize