I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize