Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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