Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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